Trying to plan a wedding in lockdown

Quick piece of advice: don’t.

For those unaware, Jack and I were originally meant to get married on 6th June 2020. Needless to say, in April 2020, we had to postpone. June was still during the first lockdown, and with a guest list of 80 or so people, it just wasn’t possible to plan anything remotely what we had in mind.

Our venues very kindly offered to let us postpone by up to one year free of charge, and so the nearest date we could get (mostly owing to bank holidays in May, as well as other ceremonies) was April 2021. ‘Plenty of time!’ we thought, at the time. After all, things were looking up, infection rates were going down, and by July, we were out of lockdown, and even going out for dinner.

The rest, as they say is history. As we fell back into the second national lockdown, we were less optimistic, and massively scaled back the day to 10 guests (from 80), and a quiet private dinner at our hotel for the reception. This, come what may, surely would be able to go ahead. After all, the first vaccine had been approved, and we were well on our way!

At the time, we were in Tier 2. Then we were in Tier 3. Then we were in Tier 4.

Now we’re in another national lockdown, with our wedding but three and a half months away. We’re now faced with the possibility that we’re not even going to be able to get married on the postponed date in April, especially as we’ve already seen one catastrophic mutation, who knows what the next three months are going to hold?! Certainly not full, nationwide vaccination.

So, what do we do?

And that’s not a rhetorical question, I’m literally asking for advice.

As we see it, we’re still planning on having a huge celebration on (or close to) our one year anniversary in April 2022, but now, we’re thinking we might cancel everything we had planned for this year. Cancel the coach, the registrar, hotel, and venue. Do we just say ‘sod it’, go down to the registry office as soon as it’s open and just get it over with? We still want to be married, but we’re just reconsidering what we want from the wedding itself.

Because I gotta say, weddings are hard work. Planning a wedding is tough, and I’ve already planned three different ceremonies on two different dates. The thought of planning another one? Reorganising the registrar, catering, transport, etc.? God it’s a lot of work.

Equally, we don’t want to always look back and not have had the wedding we wanted. After all, we’re only planning on doing it the once.

We then thought about cancelling it all for now, concentrating on moving, and then replan a wedding for our early thirties, and just have a 10+ year long engagement! But frankly, the idea of touring venues again, menu tasting, haggling over contracts, and everything else that comes with a wedding, I just don’t have the appetite to go through it again. It’s exciting the first time, but, when you’ve gone through it once as a young, eager, excited 20-something, only to be devastated with, well, something closely resembling the apocalypse, the idea of going through it all again? There’s no fun in that, no novelty, no excitement.

But I’m also desperate not to have regret, or to feel like we missed out because we were too impatient for this all to pass?

So, in summary, I have no idea what we’re going to do.

Make a pros and cons list, I guess? Hardly romantic though is it.

Maybe we just sack it off, elope, save the money, and spend it on a big party instead.

After all, it’s not like we’ll be able to have our friends at the wedding either way.

If you’ve any better ideas though, do let me know.

— Thomas

One comment

  1. Hi sweetheart,
    Difficult times.
    How about getting down to the registry office with whoever you can and zooming with others. Dress up, have pics taken, get others to do the same. Get a friend to photoshop you all in together maybe?

    Then a big party with speeches, a (non legal) ceremony conducted by a friend maybe, readings, music). We had 2 days and this was what our second day looked like after we had been officially married. Lots of photos!

    This is if you want to tie the knot in your twenties and soon (ish).

    Love to you both for whatever you decide? You’ll never forget whatever you do ❤️

    Like

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